I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
