so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
