I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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