Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
