yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
