He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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