physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
