I puked a lego.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
