We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
