So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
