She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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