the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
