i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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