Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
