everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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