After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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