Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
