The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
