we're blogging at a bar
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
