Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
