what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
