it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
