We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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