So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize