every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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