And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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