We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
