So drunk its hurt
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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