at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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