How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
