hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
