Church boner. Awkwardddd
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
