Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
