Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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