PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
