I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
