I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
