I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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