If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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