we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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