i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
