I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I need water and some morals
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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