sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
