just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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