everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize