I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
