On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
