i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize