No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
bring money and cleavage
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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