Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
