You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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