2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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