I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
