I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
handjob tips. give me some.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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