I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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