why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Come see our sink grown plant.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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