Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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