just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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