seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
