How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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