Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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