I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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