I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
