yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My life is pants optional.
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