If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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