Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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