haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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