Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize