That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I understand Curling. That high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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