Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
