Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
