I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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