PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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