Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
