My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
