He disabled his match.com account in front of me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
