Christians are straight up FREAKS
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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